LIKELESS
by MidnightSchemer13
Summary: Weirdly inspired by FFVII: Crisis Core's poem LOVELESS's title, but has nothing to do with the plot. Crack? Most likely! Slight VaniXion, silliness inside. Can you go a whole day without saying 'like', or will you suffer? Oneshot for now. T for safety.


**A/N: Takes place in the CRC; if you're unfamiliar with my other stories, the CRC is the Cardiac Research Center, where the KH characters work. I'm pretty sure it appeared in Fourteen Days of Anti-Zemyx, as well as A Very Merry Kingdom Christmas... but anyway, it's a place similar to Pixar Animated Studios, where even though people work, it's a lot of fun, and it has plenty of recreational places/scenarios. Enjoy!**

**Warnings: Your average, typical MidnightSchemer13's craziness; the inability to say 'like', and cracky scenarios. Maybe just plain crack.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, nor the _very _slight elements of Harry Potter that show up. Those works of incredible art belong to Square Enix and Jo Rowling, respectively.**

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><p>Xion stared disbelievingly at the cork-board, rereading the day's assignments and announcements. In large, bolded letters, a mandatory challenge mission was posted, the characters immediately drawing one's gaze.<p>

_**-x-**_

_**ATTENTION: DUE TO WORD OVERUSE, THE WORD 'Like" IS NOT ALLOWED TO BE SPOKEN FOR ANY REASON FOR THE NEXT 24 HOURS. AS OF TODAY, SHOULD ANYONE UTTER "Like" FOR ANY REASON, THEY ARE TO REPORT TO XEMNAS'S OFFICE IMMEDIATELY. FAILURE TO COMPLY WILL RESULT IN POINT-DOCKING AND NO COOKIES FOR LUNCH. THANK YOU. **_

_**-x-**_

She sensed another person walk up next to her and turned her head, hooking a few bangs behind her hair.

"Vanitas! Have you seen?" The dark-haired teen glanced up at the billboard for a moment, before flicking his gaze at her.

"Yeah, I've seen," he said airily. "A paragraph of boring, bolded words. What's it say?" The young intern sighed, a smile tugging at her lips, and shook her head.

"We can't use the word 'like' for the next day, or else-"

"What about just now?" her friend interrupted. "You just said the word. Ooh, you're in trouble, Xion." The girl whacked her clipboard against Vanitas's arm.

"Shut up!" she smiled at his teasing. "I was only explaining it to you. Be thankful!"  
>"You two are quite loud..." a new voice mused. Xion and Vanitas turned around to see Zexion walking up to them. "I think you're the last ones to see... Selphie's already been sent to Xemnas's office, and Sora and Roxas have gone missing, no doubt to avoid trouble."<p>

"What's with the point-docking?" Xion asked.

"Yeah, how many points does each word cost? Because if it's not a lot, I'm willing to risk it... _Hey!_" Vanitas glared at Xion as her clipboard made contact with his arm again. Granted, it was a weak hit, as was the last one, but it was still a hit nonetheless. "An eye for an eye, Xion. Hit me one more time, I dare you."

Zexion watched with a half-annoyed, half-amused expression upon his face. "If you do not wish for answers, by all means, continue your banter and waste my time. I'm still waiting for Vexen's reports, and have nothing to do in the meantime." Xion quickly sobered up.

"Sorry, Zexion. Please tell us?" Now, the scheming youth would have loved to say "_Tell you what?_" or play other mind games with them, but Vanitas was known to be a clever sneak, and usually sought revenge for even the trivial things, and Zexion had no wish to come to work tomorrow to find a dead mouse in his desk, or a spider in his morning coffee. He sighed and crossed his arms.

"As you both very well know, CRC employees have been randomly sorted into four teams: Keys, Hearts, Crowns, and Shadows, for the Annual CRC Disney/Square Enix Sweepstakes. The points awarded to each team are recorded and kept accurate by Yen Sid, and whichever team earns the most and completes the most challenges wins the month-long game.

"However, certain things have now come to light, especially the frequency of which the four letter L-word (for I dare not say it, as I never enjoy losing a challenge) is being misused, as in the cases of Kairi, Olette, Selphie, and Yuffie. Xemnas is exasperated with it all, and, in order to test if everyone can stop, has put up a price upon that word. The amount of points docked will differ upon the situation, and how favoured that person is by Xemnas." The two teens said nothing for a moment.

"You're... joking, right?" Vanitas ventured, his cocky attitude faded for the moment. He had a bit of unease with Xemnas, and didn't put it past the Superior to dock twice as many points from him than the others for the sole reason of revenge for publishing a video of him dancing, drunk (by fault of himself, Axel, and Luxord), on the Net. He could be a prankster at times, and couldn't help it, but knew Xemnas still harboured a bit of irritation at him.

Zexion tilted his head. "Thirteen points per use."

Vanitas nodded sagely. "Ah, I see." He then turned to Xion and mournfully shook his head. "I guess I can't tell you that I love you anymore, Xion. After all, our heartless boss is exasperated with the four letter L-word, and now you'll have to go a full day without hearing your favourite phrase fall from my lips. I'm sorry."

The third-in-command scoffed as Xion blushed at Vanitas's words, and began to walk away. "Rubbish..." he murmured to himself, but stopped as the shorter teenager called out his name.

"Zexion, wait! Just one more question!" Xion took a deep breath."What happens if... if l-i-k-e is said _after _lunch?" She had hope now, and if the threat of no cookies vanished after noon, then she could trick employees in the other teams into saying the word and still have her dessert.

"Then tomorrow's lunch shall be sans cookies. Is that all?" He smirked at the couple's shocked silence, and managed one more step before he was interrupted one more time. Demyx, his part-time partner and skilled sitarist friend, had entered the building (late for work yet _again_), and walked over, wondering what the large, bolded words said. Quickly reading it, his eyes widened, his cheerful mood dropped, and he stared at it in distraught disbelief.

"_WHAT? NO COOKIES? Nooooooo!_" The three others stared at him for a moment before the slate-haired young man shook his head.

"It seems as though I was mistaken. _Demyx _was the last one to be informed of this." The Schemer sighed. "Please excuse me while I duct tape his mouth closed - it's murder to have him on my team, and I cannot risk the continuous loss of thirteen points. Good day."

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><p><strong>AN: I am currently unresolved on the matter of whether or not to write a sequel to this. As of now, it is merely a cracked one-shot.**

**I might also dedicate an entire story to the ACRCD/SES **[and that idea is MINE! Take it not, I beseech you!],** but that will depend on my circumstances and whatnot. I'm humouring the idea, but we'll see. **

**Thanks for reading, weird and waste of time though it was! ^^;**

**(I think I've made a few errors in grammar; if anyone could correct that, I would appreciate it very much!)**


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